Beauty is Pain

Ouch...

Just got half my body hair ripped out it seems...

My eyebrows have been vaguely troll-like for quite a while and finally took the plunge today and had them tiny-fied... scary to see...

Not quite as scary as the Brazilian bikini wax... Wierdly, I don't scream the house down ( - possibly due to a cocktail of paracetemol and ibuprofen :-s - ) - but it still BLOODY HURT!!!

All in the name of a Parisian holiday to a spa hotel in the centre of the city. Should be amazing. I feel quite like the hair ripping was a cathartic act... not one I like repeating particularly much... but I suppose in this day and age, there are certain things that are beauty givens. And I should, I suppose live up to them.

Grumble. ;-D

- On a related note... I do hope I manage to fit some shopping in this weekend... shoes, handbags, beauty stuff and other accessories are on my list - mainly because mother and I had a big conversation this afternoon about getting my weight down. She has never been one to advocate it, but I'm starting to really suffer self-esteem-wise and I do have some issues with eating to punish myself - so it's a sensible idea to think quite seriously about sorting the size-increase. JOYOUS!!!

Puffing and Padding

I was in Camden yesterday, shopping with the complication mentioned in my last post, and we went into Cyberdog.

Now, while I'm not a big one for the London clubbing scene, I can occassionally be a bit of a raver. This situation is more from lack of time, money and energy than a lack of wanting. So visiting cyberdog is always a lesson in restraint.

But yesterday, I almost gave in. Most of the stuff, one wouldn't wear outside of a place like Fabric, but a pair of trousers really caught my eye. Ludicously expensive they may have been, but relatively on trend they were too...



ok, so they are quite possibly hideous - but with a draped grey tank top or a bright shirt, I think they could work...

How to be a nice person...

Don't follow my example.

Fact: Playing with fire is dangerous but Oh so seductive...

The traditional love triangle has been replaced by a love parallelogram with attached venn diagrams... Everyone 'loves' at least two other people - some people know, others don't. It's all very complicated, and ultimately, somebody is going to get hurt... I don't really know how to get out from this tangled web we've woven, but the time has definitely come for damage control.

I spent yesterday with the one whose introduction into the group dynamic sparked all the complications. Realising at the end of our time together that I was being unfair and selfish if I stayed any longer - not only on him, seeing as I can see no future for us ( - I love him as a friend, find him attractive etc etc, but am In Love with one of his good friends and care more about the friends who are in love with him than about him... - ) - but on our mutual friends to whom any relationship beyond friendship of ours would be a kick in the gut.

There is something very tricky about navigating the waters of relationships between bisexual men and straight women - if a man is just gay or straight, they are easier to deal with; easier to trust. Revealing my soul to a guy who I thought had no ulterior motives - at the time misunderstanding his sexuality - I was setting myself up for this fall.

I wondered if I wished I could turn back time. If I would never have kissed any of them. If I would never have gotten involved, as a confidante, with any of them. If I would never have begun a relationship with a guy so emotionally damaged and insecure that I find myself acting like its his friend I'm in a relationship with, not him, in a bid to counterbalance my loss of control over the situation.

But I don't really wish any of that. I just wish there was a way to sort out the complications without a mess ensuing.

Bette, Boots and Bondage

As the below post intimates, I'm not a big fan of the modern 'celebity' culture... but I do like to look back, and appreciate the styles of stars gone by. They just have so much more class, talent and style...

A case in point, for me, at the moment is Bette Davis. These three pictures all exude a charisma and attitude which combined sum up, in part, this season's mindset. I'm going to be finding that long lost copy of 'Of Human Bondage' as soon as I've finished making a cup of tea!

Minus Jeans - Plus Harem...

I normally am quite apathetic about Lindsay Lohan, but browsing some old pics, it truck me that this studio photo, minus the jeans and plus the balenciaga harem pants I posted yesterday as an inspiration pic, would be so perfect... I love the details on the shirt and tbh even the jacket off the runway would look great... I really want to get hold of a pair of trousers like this - they're much more flattering than the jodphur look i think, though still taking leaves out of the same book.

Rethinking - for the new term...

Now, I know it's only mid-august, but I've been doing a lot of attitude shifting the past few weeks, and while I've been experimenting little with the clothes I put on my back day-to-day, in my head, I've been conjouring visions of the future... namely, visions of my sartorial self come October when I head back to the 'bridge...

So, I'm taking inspiration from this new vision of black, charcoal and leather clad amazon woman - burberry prorsum and anna sui especially, with a little bit of balenciaga and YSL thrown in...

I've grown up a lot this year at uni, and moving on from the emotional rollercoaster that were my final years at school, I've grown into my identity - but it is still evolving. And, I like to keep with the times. My weight has crept up admittedly, and I'm hoping that with the incentive of a new look and a new attitude to academic work and play time this term, I'll be able to work a bit of the dominant mood... not much more of the earth mother for me after this summer - at least for a while.

So - the major images of inspiration at the mo:


- Anna Sui



- both Balenciaga



- Burberry Prorsum

Once I've got the ball rolling with the fitness kick, and have had more fun playing around with fashion's new "mood" - I shall post some pics and thoughts, reflections, reactions etc...

JOYOUS!!!

Hope all's well!